


Stomach Bug

by FangirlOfPower



Series: Sanders Sides Fics [7]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Burping, Butterflies, DECEIT PUT VIRGIL DOWN, Deceit takes his revenge, Deceit's a former Dark Side, Gen, Patton stop, Patton talks about spiders??? And he's not scared???, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, This isn't a sick fic, What kind of trickery is this, idioms, puns, the Sides can't get sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 11:58:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15818433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangirlOfPower/pseuds/FangirlOfPower
Summary: Thomas is going on a date and Virgil obviously must be working hard. But he's nowhere to be seen. What's keeping him away?(Not a sick fic >:) )





	Stomach Bug

"Has anyone seen Virgil?" Logan asks, taking a sip of the hot chocolate Deceit made him.

"Not recently," Roman answers.

"Nope!" Patton answers. "I hope he's okay!"

From the couch, Deceit says, "I've seen him, but I'm sure he isn't fine."

"He is probably in his room," Roman says, looking over his crossword puzzle.

"Shouldn't he be down here?" Logan says. "Thomas is getting ready for a date and Virgil must be working hard."

A pause. "He's wrong, you know," Deceit finally says. "Virgil shouldn't be down here."

"Who wants to go get him?" Logan asks.

Silence. The three Sides at the table look over at Deceit, who has his arm over his eyes while he lies on the couch. He slowly moves his arm to see the other three Sides staring at him. A pause. He groans. "Not me again."

Sentences like that can be interpreted as either lies or truths and you pretty much get the same message both times, the others have noticed.

Deceit stands up and goes up the stairs. He knocks on Virgil's door. "Virgil, don't come out."

"I'm gay," comes Virgil's muffled voice.

"That's what I meant, but I don't support you," Deceit replies. He glances at his own yellow door. This is the same conversation he and Virgil had when his door had first appeared. "What are you doing in there? You can't be busy."

"I am busy and that's why I'm not out there." Virgil coughs a few times then burps. "I'm also feeling a bit sick."

"We can get sick very easily. The only way we don't is if it's a phrase of some sort." Deceit pauses. "Oh. Shoot. Not another one."

"I'm not leaving my room."

Deceit pauses and grins. "Then I will leave you to it."

"Thanks." Virgil pauses. "Wait."

Deceit kicks open the purple door. "Surprise, boi!" He scoops up the anxious Side and leaves the room, closing the door quickly. He walks down the stairs and deposits Virgil on the couch. With a grin, he triumphantly declares, "Revenge isn't sweet." He looks at Patton. "You don't owe me five bucks."

"Darn," Patton says sadly. "I didn't think it would happen so soon."

"Ugh... Hey, E-! Um, Deceit! I told you no!" Virgil complains.

"You're not one to talk," Deceit answers. "What are you hiding?" He flops down onto the couch.

"I'm not hiding anything!" Virgil tells him.

"That's a lie," Deceit tells him.

"Hey, I'm serious!" Virgil starts coughing again. Then he burps and something comes out of his mouth. The anxious Side catches it, but Deceit already saw that something came out of his mouth, even though the other Side couldn't identify it.

Deceit stares at Virgil. "What-!?"

"Doesn't matter!" Virgil interrupts.

"Say 'excuse me' after you burp, kiddo!" Patton says.

"Excuse me," Virgil answers.

Deceit is still staring at him. "What, you, what!? What came out of your mouth!?"

The three Sides at the table look over. "What?" Logan says, holding his cup midair. "What did you say?"

"Nothing came out of his mouth!"

"Yep nothing came out of my mouth," Virgil says loudly. He glares at Deceit. "I told you-" He starts coughing again.

When he burps, the Sides at the table watch something drop out of his mouth. Virgil catches it before any of them can identify it. "Excuse me," he says weakly.

"What in the world was that!?" Roman asks loudly. He looks at Deceit.

"I don't think it's another phrase," Deceit answers. "I know what it is, though."

"Virgil," Logan says calmly, "what was that?"

Virgil opens his mouth but shuts it when he sees the way Deceit is looking at him, as if daring him to tell another lie. Virgil sighs. He mumbles something. He coughs again. When he burps, Deceit reaches out to snatch up what fell out of his mouth before Virgil can. He looks at what's resting on his gloved hands before looking at Virgil. "Isn't this-?"

"A butterfly," Virgil answers before lying back on the couch. "It's a butterfly."

"You're coughing up BUTTERFLIES?" Deceit asks, bewildered.

"I'm technically burping them up, but yeah." The small pale purple butterfly in Deceit's hands flutters over to land next to Virgil.

"What phrase has to do with butterflies and anxiety?" Patton asks, more to himself than the others.

It's Roman who figures it out. "You have butterflies in your stomach," he says to Virgil. "Because of Thomas's date tonight."

Virgil coughs and burps up another butterfly before he can answer. "Yep," he answers tiredly. "Butterflies that feel real funny when they move around. I hate it when this happens." He coughs and burps. A third butterfly flutters out of his mouth. He groans and sits back up. "Ugh..." He glares at Deceit. "You shook them up. They're never going to settle down now."

"I'm not sorry," Deceit apologizes.

"This is happened before?" Patton asks. "When?"

Virgil burps and catches the butterfly in his hands. "Uh, before lots of dates." The butterfly flutters over to join the other three next to Virgil. "It's not really a big deal. It happens sometimes." He coughs and lets out a big burp. Four butterflies fall out of his mouth. "Excuse me." He makes a face. "I feel like I'm going to throw up."

Patton comes over and sits next to Virgil, flopping into his seat. Butterflies scatter than land on Virgil. "Can I look at them?"

Virgil shrugs. "I guess." He coughs then burps. He catches the butterfly then hands it to Patton.

The moral Side holds the little butterfly in his hands, enthralled by it. "It's so small!"

"Yep," Virgil says. "They kinda have to be. Otherwise they wouldn't fit in my stomach."

The tiny butterfly in Patton's hands looks like a monarch butterfly that got turned purple instead of being the natural orange. Its wingspan is maybe two inches. The one Deceit caught has a wingspan of just one. Patton looks at Virgil. "They're really pretty!"

"I guess," Virgil says. "I've never really looked at them. Usually I just get rid of them as they appear." He coughs and burps up three butterflies. "Ugh..."

"How do you do that?"

Virgil takes the butterfly from Patton and cups his hands around it. He takes his hands apart and there's no butterfly. "Tada," he says dryly. He coughs and burps up another butterfly. He groans and slouches into the couch. "Just get on with the date already..." Virgil complains. "The sooner the butterflies are gone the better."

"I thought they were a big deal," Deceit says.

"They're not. They're just really uncomfortable." Virgil burps and two butterflies drop out of his mouth. "No thanks to you, shaking them up."

"Not sorry," Deceit says.

Virgil groans. "Just get it over with..."

Logan comes and sits on the other side of Virgil. He picks up a butterfly and looks it over. "Fascinating," he says. "They just appear? Can you get rid of them?"

"Yeah, they just appear out of nowhere. I tried to get rid of them once. You know how I said it feels like I'm going to throw up? I tried throwing up all the butterflies. Didn't work. Ended up with almost fifty butterflies flying around my room and still had a stomach full of them." Roman comes and sits in between Virgil and Patton, shaking Virgil in the process. Virgil hisses and clutches his stomach. "Don't do that, it makes them move more." 

"Apologies," Roman says. Virgil burps up another butterfly. Roman takes it before it can fly up to join the rest on Virgil's shoulders. "It looks beautiful! Why would you destroy such creatures?"

"Listen, if you want to have a stomach full of butterflies, you can have it. It almost tickles and it feels like you're going to throw up."

"How aren't they hurt?"

Virgil looks over at Deceit. "Hmm?"

The reptilian Side shifts on the couch. "Your stomach shouldn't have acid in it and that wouldn't hurt them. But they are."

Virgil burps up another butterfly. "I've actually thought about that. The only thing I've come up with that explains it is the fact that we're technically imaginary so real life science doesn't apply to us. At least here in the Mindscape. There's literally nothing in my stomach except butterflies." He burps up two butterflies and groans. "At least make them stop moving."

"Hey, it's like the little old lady who swallowed a fly when she swallowed the spider!" Patton says. "You know, it wriggled and jiggled and wiggled inside her!"

Virgil coughs and burps up another butterfly. "Oh yes, let's let Virgil have SPIDERS in his stomach. That couldn't possibly be worse than BUTTERFLIES."

"I thought you liked spiders," Deceit says, confused.

"I don't like spiders. But books are different." Patton picks up a butterfly from Virgil's shoulder as anxious Side burps up two more.

Virgil groans. "I feel sick." He coughs and lets out a big burp. Five butterflies fall from his mouth. "Ugh..."

"Oh, I'm sorry you've got a stomach bug, kiddo!" Patton says. A grin spreads across his face.

Virgil groans. "Was that one because of the butterflies or because of the pun?" Roman asks.

"Both." Virgil coughs and burps up another butterfly. "I don't need you guys hanging around me."

"I want to look at the butterflies!" Patton says.

"Fine. Whatever." Virgil burps up two more butterflies. "Just don't bump me. It makes them move more." He glares at Deceit.

"I'm not sorry!" Deceit exclaims.

\-----

Thomas has butterflies in his stomach. He's been planning for this date for almost a week. He hopes his date likes it.

His nervousness fades as they get into it. This is fun! What was he worried about?

\-----

Virgil burps and three butterflies drop out of his mouth. He burps again but no butterflies come out of his mouth. He brightens. "No more butterflies! How about some food?" Virgil stands, the butterflies perched on him fluttering around before following him.

"You just coughed up like thirty butterflies and you're now worried about food?" Deceit asks dubiously.

"I haven't eaten all day. Too many butterflies." Virgil immediately starts rummaging through the cupboards for food.

Deceit mumbles something about idioms and settles back into his sunning spot. The other three Sides go back to what they were doing.

The butterflies eventually disappear.

**Author's Note:**

> Virgil burped up 36 butterflies over the course of this story. In the end, only 32 of those butterflies followed him around. I counted.


End file.
